Jane's Mental Health Source Page

One of the Web's Oldest Personal Mental Health Sites [Est. 1998]

Tiger Mothers? It’s Called Abuse.


OK, so yes, Chinese parents seem to produce obedient children who excel in academics. But I still don’t know why this model of beating or brainwashing their kids into submission is being touted as if it were the superior form of parenting.

Maybe western or westernized parents do care a bit too much about their kids’ self esteem, and I personally don’t buy into that “everybody wins” crap. But I also think that consistent coercion and physical beating and slapping of children are NOT the only ways to raise respectful and academically achieving children. If anything, this only proves that Chinese parents haven’t found a more intelligent and creative way to engage their children. Look at the rate of children who commit suicide due to academic underachievement – and look at the percentage of children who are from an Asian cultural heritage. This article, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior ” makes me see red.

Seriously – if you are truly “superior” – then you’d have come up with a method of gaining compliance and cooperation from your offsprings without resorting to physical beating and emotional abuse. Anyone who consistently engages these methods can eventually force the weaker person or the defenseless person to comply – PARENT OR NOT.

I am a Chinese mother, and if I ever show an inkling of turning into one of these “Tiger Mothers”, I fully expect my husband to do his job as my life partner and my kid’s father, and whack me upside the head before I ruin my kid.

Related articles I’ve written here:
Dealing with Manipulation, Guilt, Emotional Abuse, and Self-Pity

Asian Students, Depression, and Suicide: Begin with the Parents!

An Asian Adult Child’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Own Mind

Written by Jane Chin

January 8th, 2011 at 8:55 pm