Comments on: Suicide by Children and Preteens

By: Janell

Janell — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:44:24 +0000

My boyfriends 12 year old son hung himself 3 weeks ago (and no he wasnt bullied) and every minute that has passed since has been more than agonizing. In silence I know my boyfriend is playing the blame game…himself, the boys mom, the teachers everyone. I feel helpless in helping him. I have had many friends over the years take their own lives but this feels so different. I just don’t know!

By: Gavin Boyd

Gavin Boyd — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:07:53 +0000

Great post about a parents worst nightmare. I had two friends who died this way and the aftermath for the family’s was unbearable.

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:21:53 +0000

It truly is – sensitive and disturbing a topic… part of this “taboo” is the social stigma around depression and suicide. Many still see these as character weaknesses rather than having a physical basis – or at the very least acknowledge that persistent/consistent emotional triggers would influence the physical body eventually. Parents sometimes are not aware of the signals they need to pay attention to that tell them their children are deeply troubled. Sometimes parents are too busy to truly see and hear their children.

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:08:06 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective as an ex-police officers who have seen what many of us can only try to explain or describe, David.

By: David Wilkinson

David Wilkinson — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:42:50 +0000

As an ex-police officer who has had to deal with a number of suicides and prevented one or two and suffered from PTSD I can identify with the timeless despair you describe. Helping children understand that their dark future-less moments are passing moments in time and not a state of permanence.
From the people who were prevented from actually killing themselves I noticed two different mindsets. Those who just wanted an end to the pain. The others appeared to be thinking past their death and could see people being sorry.

Thanks for the blog.
David

By: Turning Winds

Turning Winds — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:32:45 +0000

Suicide is a very sensitive topic to discuss. Personally, it’s very disturbing especially when you know someone who did it. I believe the pressure is on the parents for them to let their teens or children open up more to them. And if possible seek professional help right away if you’ve seen some tendencies on your teen.

By: Jane Chin, Ph.D.

Jane Chin, Ph.D. — Sat, 23 May 2009 17:01:59 +0000

Hi John,

What an excellent point you made – that external taunting was reinforcing internal condemnation. This also explains why we hear of simple acts of kindness that prevented someone from committing suicide – one external act of kindness from a child or a teenager to a troubled child or teenager may be that “one different stimulus that makes the difference” for that person who is close to taking his or her life.

Jane

By: John Folk-Williams

John Folk-Williams — Fri, 22 May 2009 15:28:18 +0000

Hi Jane –

Thanks for this fine post about one of the most difficult subjects of all to discuss. No one knows what a child goes through to take such a desperate act. I know of one teenage suicide that was definitely a case of self-blame for the constant fighting and fury between his parents. But those who apparently kill themselves because of unbearable shaming experiences from peers are the most baffling. I suspect, though, that at early ages the psyche and self-esteem have already been so weakened by family conditions that there is no resilience left – in fact, the external taunting is likely confirming inner judgment and self-condemnation. That’s my guess, of course – just one attempt at explaining the unexplainable.

I agree completely that the psyche and mind have already died – for whatever reason.

My very best to you — John