Family and Parents

How to Deal with a Clingy Overbearing Mother

A question on Quora asked, “How can one deal with an overbearing, overly clingy mother without hurting her feelings or compromising one’s boundaries? I am my mother’s only child. I love her to death and I am her whole world. I’m also 30 years old and I’ve lived in different states for years, have a [...]

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Independence

Dear Daughters of Tiger Mothers: As much as you struggle in this emotional war of guilt, know that your mothers who wage wars were once where you are, their free will bound so tightly at such a young age that their expressions of love had long been rotting until the shape of their love has [...]

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A View from Negativity

I’m not going to say or presume that everyone is “negative” the same way, so I can only speak about one aspect of negativity. I’m related to someone who can be labeled “negative”. If I do my best to speak from this one person’s perspective, here’s what I’d say about why a negative person has [...]

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NAMI Survey Finds Primary Care Doctors Not Prepared to Talk about Children’s Mental Health

In May 2011 National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that parents perceive their primary care doctors aren’t able to provide the level of care and service when it comes to children’s mental health. A survey of 554 parents and caregivers, released May 11 by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, found that 83% wanted [...]

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Why I Wrote “The Youngest Light”

When I first set out to write this book, I thought I was writing a different book. I thought I would write about my journey through clinical depression, how I was helped by medication and psychotherapy, and specifically, how the strange dreams (often spiritual with animal themes) I was having played a large part in [...]

“Jane Chin, for Joy”

Ask me in 1998 when I first started this website if I’d ever think the word “joy” would appear anywhere remotely near my name, and I’d laugh out loud. Then I’d immediately burst into tears, since at the time I was suffering from clinical depression, and I’d cry more often than I’d smile or laugh [...]

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Getting Over Shame by Letting Go of Resistance

Shame and humiliation are powerful weapons in emotional abuse and the control of the will of a human being. Once a person has internalized that shame and humiliation and begins to believe it, that person will then continue to perpetrate shame and humiliation unto himself and becomes his own abuser. The victim also becomes addicted [...]

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Was Amy Chua Right about Parenting? My Answer.

Amy Chua is right about this form of parenting when you want to create a society that: 1) considers physical, mental, and emotional coercion as the only form of gaining compliance from a human being 2) considers outward success based on a standard of “winning” and “better than” as the only form of success 3) [...]

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