Abuse and Emotional Abuse

How to Deal with a Clingy Overbearing Mother

A question on Quora asked, “How can one deal with an overbearing, overly clingy mother without hurting her feelings or compromising one’s boundaries? I am my mother’s only child. I love her to death and I am her whole world. I’m also 30 years old and I’ve lived in different states for years, have a [...]

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Independence

Dear Daughters of Tiger Mothers: As much as you struggle in this emotional war of guilt, know that your mothers who wage wars were once where you are, their free will bound so tightly at such a young age that their expressions of love had long been rotting until the shape of their love has [...]

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Self-Sabotage: Why We Do It

Most of us have “done ourselves in” at some point of our lives; just as we get close to something good, someone wonderful — we do something to sabotage ourselves. For people who are serial self-saboteurs, how can you break this habit? You can break a habit of self-sabotage IF AND ONLY IF: you find [...]

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The Single Cell Knows [Redux]

When we have emotional pain/trauma so intense that it could shatter bones, the most yielding of ourselves – the soft, connective tissues of our bodies step in to absorb as much pain as they could absorb, such that we can muster up a smile on our faces day after day, such that we can go [...]

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A View from Negativity

I’m not going to say or presume that everyone is “negative” the same way, so I can only speak about one aspect of negativity. I’m related to someone who can be labeled “negative”. If I do my best to speak from this one person’s perspective, here’s what I’d say about why a negative person has [...]

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“Jane for Windows” – A Window Between Worlds Fundraising

A Window Between Worlds (AWBW) is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization founded to use art as a healing tool to help victims of domestic violence find their “voice” so they can express what words cannot say. I will be using this donation thermometer for the next few months to track my progress in helping AWBW raise [...]

Why I Wrote “The Youngest Light”

When I first set out to write this book, I thought I was writing a different book. I thought I would write about my journey through clinical depression, how I was helped by medication and psychotherapy, and specifically, how the strange dreams (often spiritual with animal themes) I was having played a large part in [...]

“Jane Chin, for Joy”

Ask me in 1998 when I first started this website if I’d ever think the word “joy” would appear anywhere remotely near my name, and I’d laugh out loud. Then I’d immediately burst into tears, since at the time I was suffering from clinical depression, and I’d cry more often than I’d smile or laugh [...]

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